Lexical Analysis

How have I been?

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 17:57:24 GMT

In order to generate more conversations, I am trying something out. An experiment. Instead of replying to comments in comments, I reply with new posts.

desiringavalaon wrote, "I've been thinking about you recently and wondered what you were up to. How've you been???"

Gosh, I don't know how far back to go. I guess I'll just describe the present. I'm living in MA still. I have a partner and two cats. I'm socially stifled as usual. :-) I have been driving the same car for almost 9 years. I am still working as a software engineer.

My health took a nosedive last year, but seems to have recovered for the most part. I'm on quite a number of medications that help. They have made me gain quite a bit of weight and have diminished my interest in sex. :-(

I've gained a LOT of self-knowledge over the past 4 years, including the knowledge that my self-knowledge itself is lacking. :-) I have Attention Deficit Disorder. I have not made a gender transition at work, but my social circles (itty bitty as they may be) know my gender is unconventional. I spent most of my elecrolysis fund when I went out on disability last year. I had been waiting to have my face cleared before making any decisions about transition. I have considered wearing veils as an interim solution.

I'm still a working stiff. :-P

I have dreams of going into either animal or human medicine.

I am stressed out at work

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 04:38:49 GMT

Ever since that "chocolate meeting" with W, I've been very anxious about my job.

She has made it pretty clear to me that she thinks I am irresponsible and a source of irritation. She thinks I'm not committed to the team.

I can't measure commitment, but I can measure connections. I have been making more of an effort to connect and communicate with my teammates.

W herself has demonstrated a lack of empathy. It seems that she thinks of me more as commodity and less as a human being than before.

I have been taking metrics on my attendance.

I have gotten very little feedback about this, which makes me even more anxious. Do either of you really care? I've been pushing through the pain a LOT to do what I've been doing. Is it enough? I can only infer apathy from your silence. It's not motivating.

Negative motivation will get my attention, but it won't keep me going.

Was W just venting, and should I ignore her?

When my illnesses have flared up, I have been taking full-day absences. In the past, I would have waited until I recovered (usually the same day) and arrived late.

My morale is at an all-time low.

I am really worried that this is going to drastically reduce my raise next year.

My work life is a paradox. On the one hand, I thrive in a team environment. On the other hand, I prefer to do detailed technical work alone.

A present for myself

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 15:17:48 GMT

I recently purchased a nice metal dance pad to support my Dance Dance Revolution habit (and any future Pump it Up or Pop 'n' Stage habits.)

After Red Octane's recent questionable behavior regarding 3rd party controllers for Guitar Hero, I decided to go with CF.

It could take a month or so to build and ship.

p.s. Im not dead yet. Just restin' :)

I'm fine; my house is fine.

Wed, 17 May 2006 17:41:34 GMT

I preemptively left Sunday afternoon, when the flood warning was posted. A good friend called and told me how I could get an awesome rate at a local hotel that allows cats. :-)

Yes, some areas of my city were flooded. My major concern was that the only access road to my dwelling would be impassable, and I wanted to get into a hotel before they were totally booked.

It turns out that my access road wasn't flooded, but the city had closed the nearest bridge. After two nights away, I decided to go back home last night. There was no damage whatsoever. I didn't even see seepage near my garage door. And that long crack in the cement wall in my garage? It's superficial! (The real foundation is behind it, methinks.)

Hugs and kisses to all.

Jim Perry's disaster assistance blog

Mon, 05 Sep 2005 05:29:38 GMT

My recent acquaintance Jim Perry is a Red Cross volunteer and will be heading down to help with disaster relief. He asked me to pass along his blog, http://www.jimcperry.com/ which he plans to update as frequently as time and resources allow while he is there, via his cell phone. Feel free to check it out and add a comment if you wish. Thanks.

Completed: Stranger in a Strange Land

Sat, 03 Sep 2005 14:51:36 GMT

Last night I finished reading Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein. It had an unsurprisingly profound effect on me.

I'd like to say that I grok in fullness, but I suspect I'll have to reread it one day. :-)

Waiting is.

The shortest distance between two points in spacetime does NOT belong in my computer monitor!

Wed, 31 Aug 2005 17:16:44 GMT

I was using my home computer last night, when I heard a loud, "SNAP!" My ears indicated to me that the noise was coming from behind my display. Acting on instinct, I hit the power switch. There was silence. After thinking for a few seconds, I was surprised that the display hadn't gone black afterwards. It flickered a teeny bit during the noise, but it was fine.

I went downstairs and grabbed my A-B-C fire extinguisher, suitable for electrical fires. I needed to try again, but I wasn't taking any chances.

I pressed the power button.

*humm* SNAP-SNAP-SNAP-SNAP-SNAP! SNAP-SNAP-SNAP! I cut the power. The display was still working, but it dimmed a bit during each snap.

Well, it certainly sounds like my monitor is arcing.

Coincidentally, my PlayStation 2 has been refusing to read both my DDR Extreme and my DDR Konamix discs. I wonder if they're related... Could it be the humidity? I've been keeping the windows open.

Protesters disrupt motivational speaking event

Sun, 28 Aug 2005 16:24:21 GMT

The Rev. Theodore Dupree, founder of First Church of the Holy Paradox in Gnawbone, Indiana, contends that American soldiers are being killed in Iraq as vengeance from God for protecting a country that harbors white liars, speed limit violators, and those who marry after being divorced. The church, which is somehow affiliated with every large denomination we've heard of -- and some of which we haven't -- is made up mostly of attorneys, politicians, faith-based therapists, cab drivers, sports fanatics, working stiffs, and an inordinate number of single parents.

The church members recently protested a rally held by motivational speaker Drew Carey. They held signs and shouted things such as "God hates the teeniest of lies", "God hates speed demons", "God hates post-adultery adulterers", "Hallowed are the Ori", and "God hates everyone except us. We are so cool."

Mr. Carey declined to comment.

(In case you haven't noticed, this is satire. For something even more irritating, see "http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050828/ap_on_re_us/soldier_funeral_protests".)

"login" or "logon"?

Wed, 13 Jul 2005 23:54:32 GMT

I was trying to figure out what phrase to use when referring to someone authenticating to a computer system. I wanted to use some variant of "log in" or "log on". Dictionary sites were no help. So, I decided to see what statistics Google has for common usage.

I now share my findings with the world.

1. To authenticate, but not to a specific system (log/in/on)

Regular expression^*: ^log ?[io]n$

305,000,000 for "login"
156,000,000 for "log in" 
 11,100,000 for "log on"
  6,340,000 for "logon"

2. To authenticate to a specific system (log/in/on/to/at)

Regular expression^*: ^log ?[io]n( ?to| at)$

 15,300,000 for "login to"
 15,100,000 for "log in to"
  4,520,000 for "log on to"
  3,280,000 for "log into"
  1,020,000 for "log onto"
    667,000 for "logon to"
    595,000 for "login at"
    119,000 for "log in at"
     63,800 for "log on at"
     12,800 for "logon at"
      3,600 for "loginto"
      1,210 for "logonto"

I tend to agree with the majority: "login" and "login to".

^*Yes, these are shameless displays of geekiness.

Complex configurations

Thu, 10 Feb 2005 23:41:20 GMT

Any sufficiently complex software configuration is indistinguishable
from code.

"Polyamory is wrong!" shirt

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 19:41:41 GMT

Be sure to read both sides of the shirt.

http://www.cafepress.com/captainwhimsy.16788296

Five Elements quiz

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 18:58:07 GMT

For a special someone, though zhe didn't ask me to do this.

You scored as Water. Water is the element that predominates in your life. Water rules the signs Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces.

</td>

Water

60%

Fire

50%

Earth

50%

Air

35%

Spirit

35%

Which of the Five Elements are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Edit. I'm a Virgo.

Drabble for lediva

Fri, 07 Jan 2005 23:20:51 GMT

Private, I know you’re new at this. I know you transferred here from Fort Bragg. Maybe they do things differently around there, but you’re here. You do things our way now. When a four star general’s car drives up to the gate, you do not simply wave him through. I don’t care if have your hands full. Drop the damn things if you have to. And don't whine about destruction of military property. Besides, the consequences will be far worse if you continue to fail to show proper respect to your superior officers.

Here's an explanation for those of you unfamiliar with the drabble meme.

What was my job in a past life?

Wed, 05 Jan 2005 21:15:34 GMT

Exotic Dancer!

What was your job in a past life? (LOTS of results & Anime Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Eh, close enough. :-)

In sickness and in health

Thu, 30 Dec 2004 17:05:43 GMT

I woke up with a cold on Monday. Wednesday morning, I had finally kicked the bugger. Then, a short time after eating breakfast and taking my meds, I started to rapidly feel a different kind of sick -- like food poisoning.

All I had for breakfast was pancakes. I did take a zinc tablet (50mg) and a multivitamin (15mg zinc) after that. I'm pretty sure it was too much zinc. It is strange, though; I had a low grade fever. *shrug*

Anyway, I'm almost well again. Yay! This is a sucky way to spend my winter work holidays. On the other hand, at least I didn't have to use any vacation time!

Invisibility on Yahoo Messenger

Thu, 23 Dec 2004 14:57:00 GMT

For those of you who prefer to remain invisible full time on Yahoo messenger -- and you know who you are ;-) -- the latest version lets you select people in your contact list to whom you will always be visible if you are online. This reduces the number of creeps that send you unsolicited messages, plus it lets your friends know when you are actually around. It also means no more logging in with a zillion "Are you there?" messages.

Please, no gifts

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 04:12:24 GMT

This is a standing decree regarding all future holidays, birthdays, and
special occasions.

Please, do not buy me gifts.

If you must get me something, please understand that I'm a selfish, evil, unthoughtful, forgetful, and overworked soul with a different set of priorities than most people when it comes to this sort of thing. In other words, don't ever, ever expect something in return. (That's not really the spirit of giving, anyway.) Once that information has sunk in, and you're sure you want to do this anyway, please note the following guidelines:

1. The gift should be temporary and thus not require space in my abode
for any significant length of time.
2. The gift should be something personally from you.
3. The gift should not cost you any money.

Sample outcomes of guideline selections.

1-3: massages (platonic or otherwise), at-home manicures, serenades. (I will let just about any clean, nice smelling person give me a back massage.)
1-2: a card, homemade (HM) chocolate chip cookies without nuts
1: gift certificate to a spa or restaurant

I need roommate advice

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 01:52:02 GMT

Hey, all. I am seriously considering renting out the second bedroom in my condo in Lowell, MA for about six months. I will also be living there.

Does anyone have any advice? Here are some things that cause me some concern:

Roommate doesn't pay
Roommate won't leave after six months
Finding someone who is accepting of my alternative lifestyle (transgenderism & polyamory)

Would drafting a lease document be a good idea? And how should I find this person? Any other sound advice is also appreciated.

Lex runs out of antidepressants. Unbridled optimism ensues.

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 17:49:06 GMT

I started running out of refills for my antidepressant, so I cut down last week while I scrambled to contact my Doc.

The odd thing is, I've been rather not depressed for 2 out of the past 4 days. WTF? Usually, while on the meds, my depression is present. I can feel it, but it does not effect me a great deal. When I'm off of them, I typically spiral down into the pit of despair.

I can't think of any other reason why I wouldn't be depressed. Everything is pretty much the same. Well, I paid off a car loan recently on my ex's jalopy. But that still doesn't put me in the financial clear unless I work overtime. I did a bunch of special-needs laundry (i.e., hand washing) Saturday, but that's not it -- I did that because I wasn't depressed.

Anyway, it has been very nice. I almost forgot what it's like. Yay!

I should take this time to do Good Things while I have the motivation. I almost put a to-do list here, but I don't want to see how long it is. :-P

Yay!

I plan on keeping things at the reduced level, to see how it goes.

Edit: I bet the new work schedule has something to do with it.

Second shift

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 15:22:27 GMT

As of two weeks ago, I officially work from 1300-2240 with every other Friday off (usually).

The change has done me a lot of good. It's great to wake up refreshed, withtout the need for caffeine.

But now I'm in class all week, and I had to reset to a day that starts at 0900. :-(

Poems behind lj-cut?

Wed, 01 Dec 2004 01:43:53 GMT

View Poll: #394680

Pretend that there was a poem here... or don't.

Arisia registration purchased.

Sun, 28 Nov 2004 17:53:25 GMT

I am officially going to Arisia in January 2005. I just wish the Park Plaza would turn off their damping field for SprintPCS signals. (OK, I don't think they really have one, but my phone barely works in there.)

My badge will say "galaxygrrl". Imagine that. But y'all can call me Alex, Lex, Lexie, or galaxygrrl if you prefer verbosity. Reckon.

Sleep seems to be better

Sat, 27 Nov 2004 16:47:47 GMT

I went to bed around 3:20am and got up around 11:30am. So, about 8 hours. Yay! I know it's quite a shift it the late direction, but the duration causes me the most concern.

For cyan_dreamer: I finally figured out "Apoptygma Berserk"

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 23:39:52 GMT

I think apoptygma berserk is what happened to that guy who drank
from the wrong cup in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

Poem: Self-induced insomnia

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 05:35:27 GMT

Do I sleep?
And if I sleep, what then?

Every night I submit my conscious mind
To this primal urge,
This biological imperative,
Hoping,
That in the morning,
I'll be myself again.
That I'll be human again
That I'll be sentient again

I dream,
But I usually don't remember.

Is to exist and not remember
truly existence at all?
If existence cannot be recalled
Then of what use is it?
Perhaps dreaming is when my soul returns to the divine.

I'm afraid.
I'm afraid that I'll sleep for a long time.
Last night I slept for thirteen hours.
I dreamt,
But I did not
...
remember